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    The Team

Blair Mason Blair Mason
Growing up in the trendy suburbs of Auckland, New Zealand he learnt how to beg, borrow and steal to get by. Blair found an out in rugby where he learnt to channel his aggression at opposing players and referees which to this day has cost him many a yellow card. He usually plays as a loose forward but has been known to hold a backline together. He has a knack of setting players up for tries but due to his Jewish heritage usually holds onto the ball. Blair is also a handy goal-kicker, who can't wait until young Maddox is big enough to come down to training with his old man.
Charles LarkanCharles Larkan
Our local yaapie, Charles was born in the hot summer of 1977, in the dense shade of an Umbrella Thorn Acacia somewhere in Southern Africa (HOME OF THE REIGNING WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS). Raised by the native Tswana (which is why he doesn't have any manners), Charles started playing the game of at the age of 5, playing at loose forward during his younger years and moved to wing and centre in his teens (due to tremendous pace, now gone forever). He quit his flourishing rugby career 12 years ago to pursue his true passion of being a women's cheerleading masseuse (which he never fulfilled). Now slightly overweight he was drawn back into the game to enjoy the camaraderie of teamwork and satisfaction of being in shape. Strangely enough the practice sessions do not have any positive effect on his physique yet he takes great pleasure in team building (exercising for 2 hours and drinking beer for 4 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays). Oppie Bokke, Bokke Bo!!!
Chris DochertyChris Docherty
Born 10th July 1974, London. Position: Whatever is left, usually 2nd row. By his own admission the most talented and popular member of the squad, Chris joined TCIRFU March 2004, making his debut international appearance at the 2004 Trinidad sevens tournament, where he failed miserably to make any headlines, other than that of a commendable attempt at finishing a case of Carib in one afternoon. Two further appearances on the international stage, namely two games against the Bahamas cracked conchs, 1 home, 1 away, have both resulted in narrow defeats. Chris blames this poor track record, on 1. his bad back, and 2. everyone else on the team. As a member of the executive, Chris's role as Social Secretary ensures that even the most miserable members of the club get the excuse to get pissed with their mates at least twice a year. Previous clubs; Shadwell under 5's.
Mark HollandMark Holland
Born in Hong Kong, this utility back spent his formative years at the home of the world famous 7s tournament. Rugby has been his passion since his mini rugby days, continuing into school boy rugby and then playing 1st grade men's rugby in the UK, Australia and the USA. An airline pilot based in the Turks & Caicos now for 3 years Mark was Man of the Match for the first ever rugby game on home soil against the Bahamas in 2007; which saw him exercising his prowess at fly half. Mark is best known for his deceptive and explosive running game!
Richard Desmond Richard Desmond
Des is a rugby wolf in sheep's clothing. His robust stature belies an alarming turn of pace, combined with a devastating sidestep. His body is a temple and he is dogmatic in sticking with his vigorous cardio and conditioning program, very rarely allowing himself the luxury of a malt beverage or a chicken wing. With an entire back line seething with jealousy at his effortless dissection of defensive lines, sound hands and uncanny match winning kicking ability, Des does the done thing and puts the hard work in on the front row, leaving the cack handed pre-madonnas in the backs free to do their make-up, in between knocking the ball on, safe in the knowledge that they have the man, who can on the front line, secure possession of the ball.
Keith BurantKeith Burant
Born in the depths of cold dark Canada this TCIRFU Life member played for Mariners in Bermuda, Cayman RFU and now finds himself in the TCI. This experienced tourist is renowned for his sunny disposition and amicable manner. His impeccable politeness makes him a great ambassador with military personnel and large bouncers alike. His inability to throw the ball in straight is overshadowed by his sloth like speed to the breakdown. Called upon to ref the International match between Cuba and the TCI while recovering from knee surgery he has since been asked to referee such other nonviolent conflicts like UFC 87.
Neil FrenchNeil French
Frenchie plays as the clubs No 8 or Blindside flanker, having represented a vast array of clubs worldwide; Bedford School, Nottingham University, Bedford, Kempston (all UK), East Coast Bays (New Zealand), Titikaveka (Cook Islands), TCI. A wondering rugby minstrel often brings the kids down to watch him train on the beach, and then rushes off when he can't find them. One of the shyest tour virgins in the club, Neil was man of the match in the Conch Cup match in Nassau in 2008 with a try scored in the game and a powerful display of running.
Sean O'NeillSean O'Neill
Sean first started playing two on two rugby on Grace Bay at the age of 11. Sean was limited at this stage due to his less than lightning speed however 6 years at the Clongowes Wood rugby factory taught Sean that there was more to rugby than running with the backs and has been scrumaging with the forwards ever since. He's also found that there is one place he can outpace the backs and that's at the bar. Sean took up the catholic flag at Old Wesley RFC in Dublin before playing for the Brussels Barbarians in Belgium Premier League. As well as the Turks and Caicos Sean has represented the Irish Parliament against the UK Parl. and an Irish Barbarians Invitational XV against Croatia.

Rugby highlights: Representing the Turks and Caicos, representing Irish Barbarians XV against Croatia, scoring a hat trick against school rival Blackrock College. This rugby journey man has seen a lot of the rugby world yet is still the shy side of 25. He brings this valuable experience to the TCI side where he is a Life member, and the corner stone of the front row.

David TaitDavid Tait
By far the elder statesman of TCI Rugby (at 65), but still capable of showing these young whippersnappers a clean pair of heels, or perhaps a straight arm tackle when near the try line.This life member started his rugby career in Scotland with the Edinburgh City Police Team in 1959, played for the Scottish Police against France, Ireland and England. He also played for Edinburgh City after leaving the Police and then with Durham City in the North East of England (an English senior club). After moving to Canada in 1975 he then played for the Oakville Crusaders, and at the age of forty moved to The Niagara Old Boys (NOBS) to play oldies rugby.A classic back row forward, David likes to get in amongst it and cause as much pain to the opposition as possible, particularly half backs. He has have lived, coached and played rugby in Scotland, England, Canada, Sri Lanka, India, Greece, Cayman, so has a varied international rugby career. The TCIFRU is lucky to be the latest beneficiary of this experience and enthusiasm. Dave says that rugby has been a great asset to him in business in all of these places. He still loves the game, and enjoys being a part of TCIRFU."
Jesse OwenJesse Owen
As the story goes a slow dim-witted American is taught to play rugby by some equally untalented Brits and Mounties in 1997. This young lad had dreams of being a back with unbelievable pace......... but playing the cards that where dealt (280lbs) he is still a slow dim-witted American the only difference is he can now Bitch and Whine to all refs lying in his path. Club highlight playing on glass and rocks at the old downtown ball park and seeing Petri sucker punched by Robert.
Gareth ButlerGareth Butler
The kiwi pixie is the PR man for the TCIRFU, and hence the source of the annoying group emails that emanate on such mundane topics as training, and beach rugby. Gareth came to the TCI in June 2006 and quickly discovered the joys of playing touch down at the ballpark. Having had a limited playing career in his native NZ, Gareth has taken the opportunity to gain international honours for the TCI instead, a sad fact that leaves Graham Henry scratching his head to this day. Highlights for the club includes a near faultless goal kicking display on his club debut against Boston Old Gold (6 from 7), and also scoring the only points of the tournament for TCI at the NAWIRA 7's in Nassau, Feb 2008. A cheeky little player his slight frame has tormented many a big forward, leaving them clutching at thin air as they tried to smash him into next week.
James MurphyJames Murphy
Still reeling from the Ireland debacle of the RWC 07 a disappointed Murph arrived in TCI full of wind and vinegar in Sept 2007. Retired from rugby for 6 years, he decided to throw himself into club life with such reckless abandon that island suppliers of malted beverages have been rubbing their hand with glee ever since. His erstwhile talents as a snake-hipped centre-three-quarter deserted him long ago, and claims that he practises as an attorney on the island are both calumnious and yet strangely true. Rumours that he is a black-belt in Sudoku are greatly exaggerated.
Paul DempseyPaul Dempsey
Born during the Jurassic period on Grand Turk, he travelled widely (and drunkenly) in Europe before returning to the Islands a bitter a twisted man. Devastated by a freak ballet injury that foreshortened his rugby playing days and unfulfilled by his job as a wedding dress embroiderer, Dempsey found his true vocation as a "When I..." storyteller. Paul can now be found propping up bars and TCIRFU committee members in select international venues. His favoured position: horizontal. Boxers or Briefs: Depends.
Dewi MorrisDewi Morris
A guest coach of the club, Dewi is attending our inaugural Presidents Dinner in August as part of a sponsored trip to the Turks and caicos islands. Dewi will be running coaching clinics and utulising his experience as former English and British lions player to lift the overall standard of play in the islands. Dewi will also be bringing items for a silent auction, so make sure you get your tickets for the dinner.
Javier MoralesJavier Morales
Our man from Madrid, Javier was in a country where sports are played with spherical balls, he had to immigrate to higher latitudes where sunshine is unknown and replaced by daily bloody rains to discover that thick-brute people from the North played football with an oval ball. Being thicker and more brute than most of his compatriots, he decided that playing this mix of handball and football could be interesting. Some years later, he's glad to be back under the Caribbean sun among people from more southern countries than his. Life is not easy, but Javier is.
Gordon KerrGordon Kerr
Rarely seen on the pitch these days but still able to conjure up golden memories of the first ever rugby matches seen in the Turks and Caicos Islands. Arriving from the cold and rain of Scotland to the sunny shores of TCI in 1987, Gordon and a renegade band of like-minded ex-pats introduced rugby to the Islands. Now graced with the physique of professional bar fly rather than the fly half he once was, Gordon can be found on the side lines commentating, critiquing and generally being a smart arse. His girl friend does own a bar though!
Fraser DodsFraser Dods
Fraser was first enticed to the "oval ball" 25 years ago by rumours that "the game" was played with talented hookers. He was re-indoctrinated in Kuwait - which is the only place on earth, with as rocky a pitch as the old ballpark. As guile and technique can no longer mask the fading pace and Advil-lubricated joints, Fraser must satisfy himself (pun intended) with past glories (ok, one out-of-character game of brilliance), solid tackles and, when he can actually get to a ball whilst still in the air, respectable hands. Fraser is still looking for suitable candidate to hand over the Fullback reins to....
Simon Taylor Simon Taylor
In the twilight of his rugby career, Stitch has skippered the TCI team on two tours to Trinidad (2000 & 2004), one to Cuba (2002), two to DR (2001 & 2003) and three to Bahamas (2001, 2003 & 2008). With a head like ripe peach, Stitch earned his reputation for leaking claret on his first outing with TCI in Trinidad and has continued to shed blood, sweat & tears for the TCI cause. Originally a scrum-half, Stitch has also led the TCI backline from stand-off, but lacking any real pace, hands, co-ordination or willingness to tackle his presence has contributed little. Stitch played much of his senior rugby for Boots Athletic RFC of Nottingham and has played for both Cayman Islands and Barbados on previous wanderings around the Caribbean.
Max TaitMax Tait
"Max is a '53 model whose entry into the world that year was overshadowed by bigger news in NZ, such as Hillary when he "knocked the Bastard off" and by Liz getting her crown. There was a train wreck too, killing 151 people, but we won't go there. Max is in denial about male pattern baldness and claims the shaven head is for aerodynamics. He was recently overheard warning those he describes as "fat trackers" which is anyone wearing numbers 1 through 8, to be wary of the vortex that is created when he is at pace. The reality is however that he is considered to have seen better days and is now considered to relive the glory through his progeny.
Dorell WilliamsDorell Williams
Dorell was one of the first naturally talented Turks Islanders that came out and mastered the game of rugby. This was after being scouted by senior member Keith Burant whom was coaching Dorell in the junior softball league for two years. Dorell then filled the position of winger due to his tremendous pace and agility that was quite developed for a thirteen year old. He seemed 'god like' when playing against guys twice his age. Because he was at the tender age of 13 Dorell had to sit out international tours for the next two years until he was fifteen years old, at which time he then experienced his first real rugby match in the Dominican Republic. He lead his country to their first international victory by scoring the winning try, which up till today we have still never heard the end of. Since then he's been a dedicated member by contributing efforts and assisting in junior rugby with the younger players. He has also done recruiting on his own by encouraging his local buddies like Dino to become a member. Dorell has been a devoted affiliate of the club for the last 12 years and has represented the union in more than eight different countries.
Julian PetrucciJulian Petrucci
Born in the great rugby nation of Scotland and with his mother's Irish blood running through his veins he was destined to play from an early age, unfortunately play at school showed he also took after his father who is Italian. Built for strength rather than speed he played where he was most likely to be an obstacle to the opposing team and the least encumbrance to his own. Little has changed today, following a break of 20 years a promise of free beer persuaded him to join the TCIRFU and he was back in the game. This year was spent getting match fit followed by an excellent 15s tournament in the Bahamas where he filled the 2 important positions of mascot and bench warmer. Currently sidelined with a shoulder injury, sustained while playing with the Victorious Copperknobs, he is looking forward to getting back on the field next year.
Tim LawlessTim Lawless
Tim, a prop by birth, likens himself to a latter day hardmen like Jeff Probyn and Hitler. His dogmatic, attritional physical play has earned comparison with Brian Moore and George Bush to name just a few. Despite this, he has had a difficult time convincing people in the Turks and Caicos of his natural rugby pedigree and has been limited to plying his trade as part of a hamstrung backline. One day he hopes to convimce someone to let him play flanker, or something, but until then he is relatively content pissing around playing touch on the beach. And yes Tim is a big enough of a cock to have professional headshots.
James HamiltonJames Hamilton
At 8 years of age, Hammo's rugby career started with great promise at Bishop Stortford RFU - a club which produced many other greats such as Ben Clarke. James excelled at the mini rugby level - mainly due to it being a non-contact game. It was only when contact rugby was introduce at the Under 13's level when James realized he had several birth defects - 'Glass ribs, Glass back and currently a Glass calf muscle' all of which still hinders his performance to this day! In summary James, despite the birth defects, has enjoyed playing for his school and county, retiring from UK club rugby in the East End playing at dizzy heights for the Eaton Manor 4ths team. James' rugby highlight was kicking a drop goal in the old Twickers stadium during a post match pitch invasion. (Mum, if your reading this dad was on the pitch too).
Daryl CrawfordDaryl Crawford
As a recent arrival from the Land of the Long White Cloud, this will be his first tour with the TCI boys who have all promised fun games & loads of laughs, mostly at his expense! Having played in the mud of New Zealand & the snow of Canada, the thought of playing on the beach seemed an excellent alternative. Rugby highs; winning the open grade final last year, playing in a 100+ point game for Langley B.C.,RWC 2011! Rugby lows; RWC 1991,1995, 1999, 2003, 2007
Jamie TaitJamie Tait
Came to TCI from NZ with all of his fingers, toes and teeth so if any of you guys take them I know where they will be. Combine the aforementioned assets with a full head of hair, a fully functioning brain and mad guitar skills and you have a player who raises TCI Rugby's sex appeal, I.Q. and 'X' Factor by parameters beyond the capacity of Neil French and Gareth Butler's calculators combined. Jamie used to be a niggly pain in the ass forward until he changed his name from Blair Mason and has never looked back. Best on field moment in TCI Rugby to date is putting Jahmal's dislocated finger back into place while Dorel screamed and then fainted. Best off field moment is creating a diversion in Danny Buoys by getting two girls to kiss (and taking photos of it) while meanwhile allowing Neil French to steal a small bottle of the establishment's finest Tabasco Sauce amidst the excitement.

Caper of the Century. More to follow on tour, Frenchy needs some mustard and he can almost have a sandwich. Jamie is looking forward to competing in the Olympics, where he specialises in Breast Stroke.

Pierre MagnierPierre Magnier
Born in Montreal, this French-Canadian learned to play rugby in Arizona. He started out playing winger but quickly got bored watching the forwards have all the fun and decided to pursue his life-long ambition of becoming a hooker. He perfected his hooking while playing for various teams in Arizona, Montreal, the Bahamas and finally in the Turks & Caicos (a true rugby whore). Although a hooker, Pierre still uses the annoying skills he learned as a winger - he can often be seen chipping over opposition and running (slow jog) down side lines for picture perfect tries. Pierre's French heritage gives him an incredible taunting skill (see Monty Python Holy Grail), that usually leads the opposition into yellow card trouble, but his Canadian heritage allows him to make peace quickly over post-game beers.
Ewart ChattellEwart Chattell
A Life member, this ex Huntingdon Stags UK player (in the 1960s) played coarse rugby at its best when brawn ruled. A loose forward or hooker, Ewart started playing rugby when draught beer was 1 shilling and 3 pence per pint (7p or 14cts) - oh such memories!
Russell AlwellRussell Alwell
Claims Irish heritage, but with suspect English minor public school accent, has led to a confused national identity, at the tender age of 30 he realized his glory days of rugger at a senior level had slipped away and his only chance of an unopposed national cap was the TCIRFU. With a playing style reminiscent of a wounded rhino (sorry unable to spell rhinoceros) ultimately led to one too many concussions and an inability to remember the last two tours. His match playing days are long gone; due in part to his revolution concept that rugby training was in fact cheating. Although this theory was briefly supported by a few forward thinkers, it never really took off. He is now waiting for his eyesight and hearing to fail so he can finally understand what it is like to be a referee.
Johnny HiltonJohnny Hilton
Dean GriffithDean Griffith
Dino ParkerDino Parker
Harry TurbyfieldHarry Turbyfield
Jahmal MisickJahmal Misick
Dale HodgkinsDale Hodgkins
Jim Simpson Jim Simpson
With absolutely no clue when he started, Autobahns helpful encouragement has seen Simpson through to his first full cap in his first ever game. With plenty of hard training with the boys Jim could now talk a half decent game in the pub. Alas jumping up to retrieve a punted ball ended his playing career as his soft knee gave way. Jim spent two years as club social. Unfortunately it was discovered too late that Jim, Carib beer, Carib beer Girls, and live TV don't mix well.
Lloyd Inwards Lloyd Inwards
Born at Heathrow Airport (OK next door) in 1989, 2nd youngest of 7 rugby players the best were his 2 sisters long ago banned for life after beating the shit out there siblings on the pitch. His only sport at school was Rugby (the poofs and the only Aussies at school, played cricket). Poor old Lloyd tried to get a job with British Rail in London, but his Hindu was poor, he couldn't work in a bar because he didn't have an Aussie accent, so he moved overseas to Antigua where they only play cricket!! (Nuf said). Then Lloyd moved to the Turks 11 years ago, and got stuck in Provo, where he managed to earn 2 caps for TCI and then retired from play, whilst posing now as the TCI Paparazzi.
Mark ParrishMark Parrish
A list of injuries far longer than his achievements, including recently being diagnosed with a 'rarely seen in the Caribbean' case of frost bite, Mark made his debut for TCIRFU in the Trinidad 7's in 2000. Several other tours of duty to foreign shores followed over the years before multiple injuries, some heinously sustained during games of round ball, prematurely cut short his illustrious career. Heard whining from the sidelines 'I can't play contact, because I only have one eye', his presence is seldom seen at the ball park, but on occasions turns up and shows glints of days gone by, before promising to return the following week only to never be seen again!
Lucas OwenLucas Owen
Lucas was born to a litter of seven pups he ate 2 at birth. Mad Dog is known to have a taste for red meat and bones. Here is the list:

1. Age 5 breaks the neighbor's kid collar bone for stealing his lolly pop.
2. Age 7 breaks school-boys nose for milk money
3. Age 12 throws a rock into the mouth of the local bully breaking four teeth.
4. Age 14 pushes older brother off ladder breaking both arms in 2 places.
5. Age 25 breaks collar bone of fellow TCI Rugby player before match
    with Old Gold Rugby Team.
6. Age 27 breaks both thumbs of a would-be tackler in Florida.

He has all of his shots and as we all know is now neutered since he is not going to CanAM.

Jim AlstonJim Alston
Canadian by birth and reared on hockey and the oft maligned Canadian football league, his first attempt at this game proved a disaster, with Jim wondering 'when do we get to use the sticks, what's with that funny shaped football, and why would anyone pass backwards to move the ball forward'??
Put out when his teammates congratulated him on his 1st try, he was heard to say 'up yours - I didn't try, I did it!' His elementary knowledge of the game coupled with mediocre language skills, has him still trying to understand the difference between a knock-on, a ruck, and a bollocks (as he points out 'all are quite often yelled out during a match'). Chronologically challenged though he is, he can still outrun Des.
A versatile Irishman who can play both tight & loosehead prop Neale first played for the Turks & Caicos in the 2008 CanAm tournament and showed impressive Tutu skills in nailing the slammer, a call up to the Bolshoi is pending. Currently playing for Old Wesley RFC Neale has previously played for the Irish Canadians RFC in Toronto, Brussels Barbarians and Accra Warriors.
He has represented a number of sides at high levels in Europe, North America and Africa, he also met Jonah Lomu once. When he's not playing rugby he's trying to save the world, Vote Richmond 09!
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